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                                    I’ve heard alot of sermons in my life, close to about 3,184. Most fade from memory within a matter of weeks, only remembering a few key points… But some you will never forget, they’re etched into your brain as turning points in your life. I’ve only had a few of those kind of sermons, the ones that challenge you more then you can ever imagine and speak to the deepest part of your soul…
 
It was a Sunday night in June, I was tired and grumpy and didnt really  feel like being at church, I hadn’t been paying attention to the sermon, too caught up in my misery, until I heard ” So what happens when God says no? What if he says no to the only thing you’ve ever wanted, it may not be wrong or sinful but God is saying no to you, its just not part of God’s plan for your life. What are you going to do? Are you going to be bitter and mad at God for not getting what you want? Or are you going to trust God that he has everything under control and has the best will for your life? Those words were like a slap across the face… I felt like God was talking directly to me, asking me what I was going to do. What WAS I going to do… God had just told me no to the one thing I had been waiting my whole life for… When I realized it was never going to happen I remember this crushing feeling inside my chest, with so much pressure it was like I couldn’t breathe, I was devastated and heart broken and cried myself to sleep for weeks begging God to hear me, yelling at him for ruining my plans. I was so angry and hurt, I felt like my life was ending and didnt like it at all!
When I heard my pastor speak those words, every emotion I had felt in                                     the past two months came rushing through me… God had put me at a fork in the road and at that moment was aking me which direction I was going to choose to take. I was so overwhemled, I just bowed my head and started sobbing and praying, crying out to God to help me and forgive me and give me to the strength to get up and start a new life from that moment on… Looking back on the night I just smile and thank God for his redemption power and for making the right decision and choosing to serve him no matter what happens. Its a daily struggle to give up my will and trust that God’s Will will be better and more amazing than anything I could have ever imagined…