There’s Always A Reason

 I never really knew what people meant when they would say that they were “tested” by God and to be honest I never really thought that I would be one to say it either. It was April 5, 2008, 8:30 a.m.  When I finally woke up I had 6 missed calls from my ex-girlfriend. I assumed that she was trying to call me for just another random, weird convo like usual. So, I called her back and when she answered I could sense in her voice that something was terribly wrong. All she said was “Joel, Adam died in a car accident at 4:30 this morning.” I just sat there in silence not knowing what to do or say.
   Adam was my best friend, even though i only knew him for 4 months.  There was something between us that just clicked. Everyone who knew us, saw it. We hung out 24/7, and were always seen together. If you were to see me I was with him, talking to him, or at least texting him. 

   When I got that call I really didn’t know what to do. All I could do was cry. The thing is, that I had never had anyone close to me die, not even a grandparent. I didn’t know what to do, so I did what i thought was the only thing I could do, blame God. 

   Whenever something big like this happens I always go to my dad, he’s my rock. I told him that I don’t see why God would let this happen to someone so young and so close to me, Adam was my best friend. “Why God?” was all i could say. My dad told me to ask God myself, to pray, and to see what He tells me, “talk to God” is what my dad said.

   To sum it up, I still don’t know why this had to happen, I wish Adam was still here, but I know he can’t be. However, what I did learn was that things do happen for a reason even though we may not understand. God lets these things happen for us to learn and to grow. That is exactly what happened. I can say that I am closer to God and am a stronger man because of what happened. I crawled to God sobbing, screaming, and blaming him for what had happend.  I asked,”why God, why?  This is all your fault; why would you do something like this?” But, somehow God took me in his arms, and told me that it’s okay for things to be out of my control.  He showed me that in those moments I needed to give it up to Him. He wanted to show me that I am not always in control. I learned that even though things seem out of control God is still in control. I now thank him for what had happened.  Even though I’m still torn up inside and cry from time to time, I still praise God. This had to happen, there was a reason for it to happen and I believe because of what happened I am doing what I am doing today. I am going to Kenya to help spread the word of God and to show those who are lost how great our God really is.