“My Heart”

Hi! Everyone!

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a missionary.I remember being very young and being told that God would take me forgien countries for his kingdom.I was to young to really realize the real meaning and saricfice that I would have to make in my life.As I got older the thought of being able to be used of God kind of faded as I went though serveral trials in my life.But God was faithful to me as I kept going to church and being open to Him.

I am not very book smart and struggle with short term memory.Because of that it keeps me from excelling in my school work and I thought that I would never be able to used because I had to have some sort of degree. As time went by I continued praying and took every oppurituny God brought my way to serve Him.I would stay very involved in my youth department and every thing else going on in my home church.

I still had a heart for missions but really didnt know how to go about it.Every time a missionary would visit our church it would just burn in my heart to go to a forgien land.When I was about 17 the Lord put Africa on my heart.I then really just started telling people that I would be going to Africa one day.I really didnt do anything special from that point on all I know is that God was dealing with me in the areas of my life that I had to grow in.I really never had I desire to excel in the things of this world in the job department or personal gain I really didnt know why.

Not that I didnt want to make money and support my own self,but there just wasnt a desire for it.I want to help people. God open a door for me to go to Mexico with my youth dept.at church last Feb. While I was there God renewed my vision to go to Africa.The church we were in supported Africa and had pictures all over the wall,it was as if God was saying Clay go to Africa! I saw how only $20 dollars a month could supply water for 15-years and thought about how foolish I spent my money. If I wanted to help people I really needed to start giving money to help them even if I didnt get to go to Africa myself.But while I was there the next fews days God really renewed a passion in my heart for Africa.The confidence in my own self vanished and I put my confidence in Him. He began to open the doors for me to begin to look for opprotunities to go.I know that if you really want to do something for God you have to be willing to give over to Him your heart and mind and soul and strenght,and realize that its not you but Him.